Believe It: 9am Just Got Worse

I drink coffee on the subway.

I write my lesson plans on the subway.

I eat bananas on the subway.

Sometimes I even blow my nose on the subway.

But there are certain things that SHOULD NOT BE DONE ON THE SUBWAY.

And as you have probably guessed from my excessive capitalization, people are doing 'em anyway. Ugh, people...

When I'm on my way to work in the morning it's, well... morning. I am not good with morning. I'm about as perky as a damp leaf of wilted lettuce that's been forgotten in the bottom of the fridge for two weeks. I'm about as tolerant as lactose (and y'all know what an intolerant bigot lactose can be.)

So you can only imagine how I felt when this adorable young couple sat down next to me as I ate my banana, and the female portion of said couple proceeded to undertake the task of squeezing her boyfriend's pimples. And, at his insistence (not that she seemed to mind) this went on for about ten minutes. Maybe longer, because that's when I got off the train. When she was finished with one, he felt along his jaw line and requested that she finish the whole set. She started off sitting next to him, but then crouched down in front of him to get a better angle. It was totally and completely repulsive, and I wanted to barf. The worst part about it was that they were being all lovey-dovey about the whole thing. I repeat: totally and completely repulsive. I kept searching my fellow passengers' faces to see if I was the only one who was totally repulsed - only one lady looked grossed out, but she could have just been a sour-puss in general. Idk.*

Then, later that same day, I saw a woman clipping her fingernails on the subway. Just letting the clippings fall on the ground willy-nilly. Not quite as repulsive, but still strange. Biting, I could understand, because that's spontaneous. But clipping means she actually carries nail clippers around with her, planning to groom in public. There's premeditation involved.

I also once saw a man shaving with an electric shaver on the subway. (I saw a man doing the same thing in a McDonald's - at his table, not in the bathroom - and yet another man doing the same at a fruit stand.)

Now here's the thing. City officials are trying to crack down on bad habits in public places, so as to make a good impression when the Expo starts here in a couple of months and Shanghai is flooded with visitors. But they are talking about things like people walking around in their pyjamas (a funny little Shanghainese quirk). I would actually LOVE to jump on the public pyjama bandwagon. Why can't they leave the pro-pyjama set alone and focus on REPULSIVE PUBLIC PIMPLE SQUEEZING? (Or nail clipping, or shaving, or indiscriminately throwing people out of your way or not stopping at red lights or throwing garbage out the window?)

And one more piece of advice, Shanghai:

STAND LEFT, WALK RIGHT, PEOPLE!

Stand left, walk right.

*Idk means "I don't know" in Cool Internet Acronym-Speak. I read it on another blog, and then googled it 'cause I had no clue what it meant. Or rather "Idk" what it meant. Anyway, I just wanted to use it to sound as cool and bloggy as everyone else.