Saturday, April 3, 2010

Old Business

Update on some Very Important Ongoing Issues here at digressions:

1. This week I saw an old man getting totally clawed exiting the subway by this woman getting on. Yes, Chinese culture holds elders in the highest respect. But hey, all is fair in the cut throat game of public transportation.

2. I saw another person clipping their nails on the subway.

And, in related Subway Grossness News:

- Excuse me, China? There is a reason why toilets generally flush. This is the same reason that it is not acceptable to hold your child over a trash can (indoors) so that they can pee in it. (I thought the bum-less pants were cute until I realized what they were for.)

3. In the name of full disclosure, I feel the need to qualify my previous statement that my new batch of third graders are sweet and not, um, as Special as my last group (ie. dumber than a box o' hair). What I should have said is, "not including the two girls who have repeatedly told me that I look like a man." (It's true, I do look mannish  in my glasses, but I wouldn't dare wear them for that crowd.)

4. And of course, The Neti* Update.

(*If you're new here, the neti is a magical little pot used to pour salt water up your nose so that it comes out the other side, and in the process makes your whole life better, or at least smell like the beach. Practiced by yoga masters - not people who string spaghetti through their noses - so it's basically like I do yoga  now, only with the added bonus of no exercise. See Figure 1.)

I had a bit of a cold last week, for which the neti is fabulous of course. And since you're my friends now (and by friends, I mean parents) I can tell you - you would not believe what comes out of there sometimes:

Okay, I promise, this is the last neti post. Then I'll start talking about the interesting things you all came here for, like authentic fortune cookies and lemon chicken and how Chairman Mao is "really a good man who just made some mistakes."


  1. risa. you are a fucking brilliant comedic wonder. nicole and i are sitting here losing our minds at your most recent post.
    box of hair
    looking like a man
    steve guttenberg. lord have mercy. you are loved!

  2. The Polution Monster and Steve Guttenberg I totally get (you've always had a lot of 'Stevens' in your life), but a missing stripey penguin sock?!! Waay too much!

  3. it isn't just your parents who read this. its also your sister.